What Straight Women Go Through

It never ceases to amaze me how gay friendly Melbourne is. The past couple of months I’ve in a few different towns and cities where it’s probably not the best idea to make it apparent you like cock. It probably doesn’t help either that I live in the inner city and probably one of the most homo-friendly suburbs in Melbourne. So, when I leave this sanctuary, I tend to put myself in some positions I never thought I’d be in…

Lately I was in Hobart. Now, APPARENTLY there are supposed to be a LOT of gays living down there, but considering only some 200,000 people live there, I’m guessing that probably equates to around… 23. It was early morning, and there were NO cabs in site, so I asked an approachable couple where the nearest taxi rank was. This seemed like a simple question to me, but the guy carrying the box of Carlton decided he didn’t like the fact I was wearing cologne…

Man: “Are you GAY!?”
Me: “ahh, yeah?”
Man: “Well why don’t you just FUCK OFF then!”
Me: (laughing) “… … ahhh… That’s not very nice!”
Man: “Nah. It’s not very nice… but it’s FAIR!”

Wait?! I think this man MAY have confused the definition of ‘fair’, because last time I heard a definition, Lily Allen told me ‘not fair’ meant sleeping with someone with a small dick who cums too quickly AND doesn’t finish you off!? Maybe I should have updated him…

Back on the mainland, I take you to my hometown of Batemans Bay. Going out in your hometown can always prove fun, especially when you haven’t seen people for 4 years, and they haven’t seen you ‘out’. I didn’t think this would be a problem; SURELY there are no gays in Batemans!? But yes, it seemed there was.

Maybe I should have taken the advice I took when in Geelong one time of “don’t kiss me! We’ll probably be beaten up!” After hearing that, I assumed head on the lounge upstairs would have been out of the question… Back to Batemans though, and one guy thought it was inappropriate for me to briefly kiss another boy… While trying to make his way to me, and people blocking him, he cooled down. It seems what set him off was me winking at him. Perhaps I should have saved my affection for someone who deserved it…

Quote of the blog goes to Perth though. When passing by a couple of drunk men, one goes to the others “I don’t wanna go to some poofta bar!! I just wanna go to a peep show and jerk off!” Charming … and we wonder why straight women complain about men?!